It is natural for you to get angry when you see that you are not getting the facility your colleague sitting just beside you enjoys. It is the time of your increment, and your boss can call you for a negotiation. You definitely feel disgusted at the prospect of explaining yourself or confronting anyone. But, this is not the problem for you only. To survive and secure your job and to enhance your career you must learn the art of negotiation. It is always easy to walk away, but with some easy methodical ways you can get over it.
Assume that you have a deadline for your work and your colleague has none, you must not make the issue public. Instead, what you can do is discuss the matter with your boss to get some relaxation or to get your deadline pushed back compared to others’. Similarly, if you see that your colleague is too lazy to carry on his work and his undone work fetching extra burden to you, speak to your team leader quietly and go on with your own work.
When you are up for a negotiation you should always remember that he who cares less about the result reaches to a better agreement. Forget that you are negotiating for yourself, because expectations always mar an agreement. If you are going for a new job make sure that you have not yet quit the previous one, for you will not get bothered much about the outcome then. When discussing the matter of your appraisal with your boss do a thorough homework about what to say and where to stress on.
While negotiating with a colleague make no room for emotional impact on your discussion as this leads to inflate the problem rather than solving it. So far your demand is concerned, it is always better to set it as your own need instead of following the others. If your boss increases your salary on industry standards that is really a good deal, but if he does not you have to come to a peaceful understanding on that. The most important thing to be remembered is that negotiation cannot be fruitful just making one party’s demand fulfilled. A successful negotiation always is one where both the parties win.